The real threat isn’t screen time – it’s a family culture where children are more afraid of telling the truth than going online alone
Bans on social media for teenagers might seem like a protective measure, but without trust, family accountability, and overall digital literacy, they often backfire. Instead of disappearing from the internet, kids gravitate toward less visible and secure internet spaces, resorting to VPNs, anonymous accounts, and the use of less monitored platforms.
Pavel Durov recently made a similar statement, criticizing the British government’s decision to restrict social media access for users under 16. He argued that such restrictions would push teens into a digital environment with a higher risk of encountering illegal and harmful content, as it doesn’t undergo the standard moderation that social media platforms typically enforce.
Not all children might immediately turn to VPNs, but many are already familiar with these services. According to research by Childnet, 38% of children aged 8-17 in the UK have used a VPN service; among them, 16% did so to bypass parental controls, while another 16% sought to evade school restrictions. In Russia, Durov claims that 95% of teenagers use a VPN for Telegram.
The tension between governments and social media platforms is also evident in the US. Florida has sued TikTok for violating child safety laws. The Attorney General stated that users under the age of 14 cannot have a TikTok account, and those aged 15-16 need parental consent. According to the authorities, TikTok misleads adults by claiming there’s no “adult” content on the platform, such as nudity, drugs, alcohol, or explicit language.
Regardless of the global and domestic context, discussions about children’s online safety must begin at home. Everything starts with healthy relationships, trust, and responsibility within the family. This is where children should learn how to navigate the internet safely, avoiding scams, manipulation, pedophilia, dangerous communities, and misguided advice from AI.
The problem is that many parents are unaware of what their children are doing, both online and offline. In such cases, any restrictions will be ineffective, especially if the adults themselves struggle to grasp concepts like online hygiene, safeguarding personal data and finances, and maintaining control over accounts. When the approach to online safety is incorrect, children learn to hide their activities and evade detection by deleting search histories, creating anonymous accounts, or using other devices.
Overreaching bans and the absence of alternatives lead to rule circumvention; moreover, they create distance and restrict communication. Restrictions serve as psychological anesthesia: they provide adults with a false sense of security, as if the problem has been solved. However, with a strong shift toward taboos, Generations Alpha and Beta risk becoming not only the ‘gadget generation’, but ‘generation VPN’, making it a lot harder to track their online activities.
Ultimately, the responsibility for online safety lies with adults, not teens. The internet remains a tool for growth and development. For future success, it is crucial for children to have at least a basic understanding of how to use neural networks, comprehend social media algorithms, promote products and services, create chatbots, and analyze large data sets. These skills are becoming essential for the employability of the younger generation. A failure to cultivate digital maturity, trust, and responsibility will only trigger fresh waves of panic as new internet services and opportunities are introduced.
What the internet and AI cannot replace is human contact and emotional closeness. These should be the family’s primary assets. The fear of losing control should not outweigh the fear of losing connection with your child. Instead of resorting to yelling, shaming, or taking away devices, adults need to learn to listen and create a space where kids feel safe sharing their secrets, and the absurd and dangerous messages they might receive – like requests for shirtless photos or their dad’s credit card number.
